wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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