how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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