"it" just moved
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize