I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
