Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Holy shit dude........stairs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
