Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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