dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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