he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
