I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween