Me. At least after what I've been through.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
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you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.