I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex