She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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