He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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