we have pet lesbian snakes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants