she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for