How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
