with your own penis?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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