Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
