I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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