dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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