Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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