Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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