tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
