So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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