I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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