OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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