I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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