I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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