I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
