well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
