I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
