the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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