I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
