When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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