just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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