I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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