Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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