She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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