if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
