you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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