obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
