I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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