you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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