Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
