I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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