we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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