those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize