I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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