But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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