I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize