I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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