you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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