my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.