just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.