thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.